On the train up to Scotland. First time I’ve done this train journey in about 3 years, when I’d been dating a girl in Edinburgh. So it’s somewhat surreal. But I’d forgotten how much I love travelling by train. A four hour ride doesn’t phase me in the slightest. I’ve got a good book, a window seat, and the sun is just creeping over London, punching its way through the buildings as I pass through the big city.
The reason for this journey isn’t as much of a happy one as it has been in the past. I’m going today to say farewell to my aunt and help lay her to rest and send her on to wherever the next place may be.
Watching the weather change as I pass through towns and county and travel the 400 miles north seems to reflect my current personal situation. One minute, things are great and sunny, the next, terrible and stormy, and the next unclear, and foggy.
It’s been a long time since I’ve used my tumblr, I just don’t have the time to use it as I would like, an online journal. I don’t get the time to reflect, but now I have a solid 4 hours. My life has been heading in the right direction. But just not as quickly as I want it to. I’m an impatient bastard. Anyone who has got to really know me can tell you that. I want to be everywhere at once, doing everything.
I’ve decided this year I’m going to do some travelling. Japan is on the cards, along with a couple of more local European trips. I need to reconnect with a lot of people. I am terrible at it. It always boils down to the fact I’m constantly working. Constantly trying to squeeze what few good mates I have into what spare time I have left.
And then there’s the situation with women. God how hopeless am I. There’s a massive part of me wanting to have that security and base with someone for something solid and long term. But recent (I say recent when I mean 2 years) experiences seem to have built this wall in my head which just won’t let it develop fully. I think it’s more of a confidence barrier, a wall to make sure I don’t get too wrapped up for me to be torn down.
So all in all it’s left me a little alone and divided within myself.

Just need to find a pretty girl with a life loving attitude and a sledgehammer.
Then I can get life rolling.